Dark Night Dawning Chapter 18

Arnav looked at Khushi as he took the car back on the Sitapur highway going toward Lucknow city.

She had lost a lot of weight. He closed his eyes, his lips tightening into a thin line as an odd kind of pain began in the region of his heart. Guilt gnawed at him. He would have to beg her forgiveness and make it up to her. He would take care of her from now on. He would never let anything like this happen to her ever again.

When they reached the house, Arnav carried Khushi in, despite her protests and laid her on her bed in her old bedroom. There were stars hanging from the posters just like the ones in Buaji’s house. He knew this would give her peace. He strode back to the living room and called for a doctor.

Akash had come back home from the police station along with his father-in-law. Arnav gave them a gist of what had happened at Shyam’s house. He didn’t want to go into details and scare the family. They were thankful that he had reached on time and saved Khushi from a major disaster. He agreed with them. For the first time in a long time, Arnav Singh Raizada thanked his lucky stars.

The doctor came some time later. He examined her and told them he had given her a sedative to help her sleep. He said that she was alright but weak due to lack of nourishment and that she would be back to normal once she started eating well.

Right after the doctor left, Arnav and Akash went to the police station to take care of the pending paper work. When they returned in the evening, they saw the entire family sitting in the living room having their tea. As Payal arranged for some more tea, they explained to the family that Shyam was taken into custody and would be handed over to Delhi police. This case would go to trial in Delhi court once the police investigation was complete. They were awaiting the final statement from Khushi.

‘I am ready to go the police station now.’ They realized Khushi had woken up and had listened to their entire conversation.

‘We could go in the morning,’ said Arnav. ‘There is no hurry.’

‘I want to get it over with as soon as possible.’ Khushi didn’t want to delay this ordeal any longer.

Arnav took Khushi to the police station so she could give her statement. He knew how painful it was for her to relive the experience once again. He wished he could go back in time and change all that.

There was an awkward silence as they drove back. Arnav wanted to talk but Khushi had closed her eyes making it difficult for him to broach the subject. He decided that everything could wait until they got home.

When they reached home, it was almost dinner time. After, dinner everyone sat in the living room talking. Buaji thanked God that Khushi had come back home safely. Suddenly, an awkward silence filled the room. Arnav knew it was his turn. He got up from his seat and walked over to Khushi’s dad and kneeled down next to his chair.

‘Uncle……..,’ he paused thinking for a few seconds and then said, ‘I would like to apologize to you for marrying Khushi the way I did. I don’t know if what I did is worth forgiving. But nevertheless, I am extremely sorry and I hope you will forgive me for it one day.’

Khushi’s dad lifted his hand and placed it on Arnav’s head. He had a smile on his lips but his eyes reflected the pain he had gone through all these months, knowing everything but unable to do anything for his daughter. He looked at his sister and wife.

‘Arnav bitwa -----’ Buaji began, ‘we spoke in detail about this, Garima and I, in my brother’s presence and we realized that we have all been victims to Shyam’s cruel manipulations. I for one, can vouch for the maliciousness with which he operated. Shashi did what any father would do before getting his daughter married to a stranger. He suspected his intentions and discovered his true nature.

But for you it was different. He was your sister’s husband. You knew him for years. When you saw him with Khushi, your first instinct was to protect your sister.’

ShashiGupta looked at Khushi and beckoned her to him. He placed Khushi’s hand in Arnav’s and looked at Arnav his eyes beseeching. Arnav knew what he was asking for.

He looked into Khushi’ eyes and said ‘I am sorry for what I did Khushi. All this time I thought I was doing the right thing. But I wasn’t. Will you please forgive me? ’ He braced himself for her reply when he heard her surprising answer loud and clear for everyone to hear.

‘There is nothing to forgive Arnavji. I am sorry too.’

What the _____! Arnav was taken aback by Khushi’s reply. He looked at her in shock with a question in his eyes. He had expected her to rave and rant. Why was she so calm? Why she apologizing? Then she continued.

‘I am sorry too ------- for not telling you about Shyam. If I had not faltered that day and come clean with Di none of this would have happened. But, as luck would have it, her mangalsutra broke and seeing her panic so much I lost my nerve.’

Arnav realized now how difficult it must have been for Khushi because he knew how paranoid his sister was about these things. He also knew that she was under pressure from her own mother though nothing in this world would make her say it. He knew this much about her now.

Khushi continued, ‘As Buajisaid, what you did was exactly what any brother in your position would do for his sister. It was Shyam who was responsible for all this. We were all victims. So let us forget all that happened.’

Everyone stared at her in silence as they had never heard her speak with so much maturity before. She couldn’t take it. ‘Now will you all stop looking like someone is dead and give me something to eat?  I am so hungry. In fact, I want to eat jalebis. I haven’t eaten them in ages!’

‘Yes Khushi….. you haven’t eaten them since you came back from Musoorie.’ Payal said with a painful look in her soft eyes. ‘In fact…. you hardly ate.’

The pain around Arnav’s heart returned.

‘Payal, instead of talking we should be making jalebis right now don’t you think?’ suggested Akash trying to lighten up the atmosphere. ‘So Khushi, what say we make it a jeeja-saali special?’

‘Wonderful jeeju!’ exclaimed Khushi, ‘Race you to the kitchen!’ Khushi bounded toward the kitchen followed by Akash and Payal as her parents and Buaji looked on with happiness lighting up their faces.

Only Arnav stood, his mind a conundrum of thoughts. He couldn’t believe what was happening. She had said that there was nothing to forgive. How could it be as simple as that? Everyone just seemed to have accepted her explanation. He looked at his father-in-law to see him smiling back at him gently. But his eyes were reflecting a different emotion. Was it pity?  Khushi had smiled brightly when she had given her speech. But the smile had not quite reached her eyes. He would definitely have to talk her again in private. What was she up to?

Sometime later, it was time for bed.Khushi’s parents had gone to their room, Payal and Akash had taken the girls’ old room. Arnav was on the phone with Aman. Khushi was cleaning the kitchen when Buaji came up to her.

‘You are Arnav bitwa take the guest room,’ suggested Buaji, ‘I will sleep in the living room.’

‘How can I let you do that Buaji?’ asked Khushi in disbelief, ‘You should sleep in the guest room.’

‘Don’t be silly Khushi,’ said Buaji in her loud voice, making Arnav look up from his phone, ‘Where will you and Arnav bitwa sleep then?’

‘I will share the room with you Buaji. Arnavji will go to a hotel.’

‘What??’ said Arnav and Buaji in unison.

‘There is no AC here Arnavji,’ reasoned Khushi, ‘You are not used to this heat and then there are lot of mosquitoes as well.’

Though she was speaking casually, it seemed to Arnav that something strange about her demeanour that he was not able to point his fingers at. He would try and figure out what it was once he got her alone.‘Khushi is right Buaji,’ said Arnav, ‘You should take the guest room.‘

‘But, are you going to look for a hotel at this time of the nightNandakisore?’ asked Buaji holding her hands under her chin, lines of concern creasing her forehead.

‘No Buaji. I will manage here on the sofa. It’s just one night.’

Khushi raised her eyebrows in surprise but she said nothing. Sometime later, when Arnav came back after using the rest room, he found a sheet and pillow kept neatly on the sofa. There was no sign of Khushi. When he went up to the guest room the door was closed. He didn’t want to go and disturb her tonight. He would talk to her tomorrow.

**

The next morning Arnav woke up bleary eyed, his skin full of mosquito bites. He wished he had taken Khushi’s suggestion and checked into a hotel room. It was extremely hot in the night and the mosquitoes had made a meal of him. Unfortunately for him, he was allergic to mosquito coils and had to refuse Buaji’s offer to light one up for him.

At breakfast Arnav announced that their return flight to Delhi was at 3 PM in the afternoon. Garima then told everyone they had been invited to a relative’s house for lunch for which they would have leave in a hour’s time. Just then there was knock on the door. Payal went up to the door to open it.

‘Surajji!’ she exclaimed, ‘How are you doing? Please come in.’

‘I am fine Payalji. I just came to say hello as I saw lights on yesterday night.’

‘Suraj bitwa!’ exclaimed Garima, ‘It’s been so long since we saw you. Hope everyone at home is fine.’

‘Surajji!’ exclaimed Khushi as she left the breakfast table to welcome him, a bright smile lighting up her face.

‘Jukjukjiyo Suraj bitwa!’ said Buaji as Suraj came in and reverently took the blessings of Buaji, Khushi’s dad and Garima by touching their feet.

Both Arnav and Akash looked at eachother wondering who this VIP was, that had all the women excited. Khushi was the one to enlighten them.

‘Jeeju, this is Surajji our neighbour and jiji’s classmate in school. And I was in the same class as his sister Palak. We used to go to school together and back home we played together. Now he runs a sweet shop and his family owns a few other businesses as well.He is the best jalebi maker in this area ------ other than me of course.’ Khushi rattled off her introduction and then turning toward Suraj she asked, ‘How is Palak doing?’

‘The last time I checked it was I who was the better jalebi maker Khushiji!’ retorted Suraj. ‘Palak is on cloud 9 these days as she is getting married next month.’

‘Hey Devi Maiyya!’ screamed Khushi in excitement, ‘Palak is getting married! Oh I definitely have to meet her then.’

‘Yes Khushiji, please do come home. Even mother will be happy to see you.’

Arnav took a good look at Suraj. He was dressed in kurta pyjamas, which was traditional yet fashionable. He had some decent features on him. He was soft spoken and had a pleasant smile. Who was he kidding? The guy was handsome ------in a way he wasn’t able to put his fingers on first. Then he realized what it was. As Khushi would say it ----  adesi sort of way! Then, Arnav caught him looking at Khushi with an expression that he recognized only too well. The adoring puppy dog look that NK used to sport. This can’t be happening again!

‘There was one more thing Khushiji……’ Suraj hesitated before continuing. ‘You called me 10 days ago regarding a business you wanted to start. I was wondering if you were still interested.’

‘Absolutely!’

There was absolute silence at Khushi’s declaration. Unaware of this, Suraj continued to talk.

‘In that case, I found you an office where they have a need for the dabba service. When will you be able to start?’

‘That’s wonderful! Thank you so much! I need a day to put things in order. How about the day after tomorrow?’

‘That sounds fine!’ said Suraj getting up from his chair, ‘You don’t have to thank me for this Khushiji. What are friends for?’ he said smiling at her. ‘I will have to rush off now. It is time for me to go and open the shop. Thanks for the breakfast Maasiji! Please do come home.’

Just after Suraj had left, Buaji rounded her.

‘What was going on there Khushi? Why did you tell Suraj that you are going to start a business here in Lucknow? You know we are leaving for Delhi this afternoon.’

‘I am not coming back to Delhi----’ Khushi declared to everyone’s consternation.

Khushi stole a glance at Arnav who was staring back at her, his eyes reflecting his barely controlled temper. There was no confusion in his eyes. He had finally understood what his firebrand of a wife was up to.

‘So when you told me earlier that you had forgiven me ------ was it just a load of crap?’

Arnav cornered Khushi as soon as they were all alone.Khushi’s declaration had caused confusion in her family members who didn’t know what was going on in her mind. Arnav had then told them that they should take up the invitation at the relatives place for lunch so that he could talk to Khushi alone. They had relented.

‘No Arnavji,’ Khushi said calmly, ‘I meant it. There is nothing to forgive.’

‘Then, why won’t you come back to Delhi?’ he asked her frustrated at her calmness.

‘Arnavji!’ Khushi said earnestly,’ Have you forgotten why our marriage took place? You were forced to marry me to save Di’s marriage. So that, she and her baby could be safe. That purpose has been served. This was supposed to be a temporary set up remember? We don’t need to be under any obligation.’

‘You think being married to me is an obligation?’ he asked her trying to control his temper.

‘Don’t you?’ she countered.

‘No……I don’t think it is an obligation!’ he thundered.

‘Alright then ------maybe it is guilt!’ she yelled right back.

‘What the _____?’

‘You forced me into this marriage because of a misunderstanding on your part and hence you feel the need to repent for your mistake.’ Khushi explained.

Dammit! He would have to try a different tactic. ‘Forget about me. You told me that you love me …….back there in Musoorie.’

‘That was two months ago!’ she declared vehemently.

‘Are you trying to tell me that in two months you have fallen out of love?’His heart skipped a beat---Could it be true?

‘In two months, I grew up Arnavji! For the first time in my life, I realized that I could be independent and be my own person. You were the one who gave me motivation to start my own business. From the time jiji’s marriage came up, our family has faced financial crisis. It hurt when Babuji lost his shop and came to Delhi. At that time I couldn’t help him much. But now I am confident that I can. And I have you to thank for that!’

Each and every word she said pierced his heart like a thorn. He remembered the number of times he had taunted her about her financial status. She would have to give him a chance to redeem himself.

‘Agreed, but why can’t you do that same thing in Delhi? I know I had told you not to do the dabba business and I am _____’

‘Arnavji!’ she cut him off, ‘This is just one of the things. There are so many other things because of which this won’t work. We are just notcompatible!’

‘What?’What was she talking about?

‘That is true isn’t it? There is a vast difference in our class, in our traditions and our values. I am a naïve, foolish girl from Lucknow. Remember the foolish things I have done? How I took out the petrol from your car and made you miss an important business meeting? How I threw water on you outside your office? And the time I irritated you by wearing that ugly saree with the ghoongat and hovered over you? I can’t even speak english very well ……whereas, you are a classy, sophisticated man of the world. You move in high societies where girls like Lavanyaji will form a queue for you.When you can pick and choose whoever you like, why would you want to be tied up with one?’ Khushi finished in a rush.

Everything that Shyam had told Khushi about him came back to him.

These rich people always look out only for themselves… They don’t have feelings for people born in the lower classes. They only use them and discard them once their purpose is served.

Arnav isn’t capable of love. I have seen him move from one woman to the other ----- not one has ever touched his heart.

‘Looks like you did let Shyam get to you after all.’Arnav’s tone was dangerously quiet.

‘No Arnavji ……..it’s not about Shyam…… it’s about facing the truth.’ She was absolutely calm.

Arnav realized that arguing with Khushi was futile. At this moment, if he told her what he felt about her it would seem contrived. He had distrusted her in their first meeting, and then once again when she told him the truth about Shyam. Why should she believe him now? There was only one thing for him to do now.

‘You are right Khushi. It is about facing the truth. I am sorry …… for everything.’ These were his last words before he walked out of the house.

A few hours late Khushi closed that door after seeing her family off. Arnav was extremely quiet as he sat in the taxi. After returning from their lunch visit, her mother, Buaji and Payal had tried to talk her into coming back with them. She had assured them it was for the best and convinced them to go back and continue Babuji’s treatment. They were leaving the next day for the Ayurvedic Village in Coimbatore. They had rushed back half way through as Payal had called them urgently.

Payal was not happy with Khushi’s decision of not coming back to Shantivan. ‘What am I supposed to tell Di and Naniji, Khushi?’ she asked her teary eyed.

‘Don’t worry about that jiji.’ She consoled her sister. ‘Arnavji will manage. He always has a solution.’

It had hurt to see everyone’s sad faces. It was for the best she repeated again and again.

But once she was all alone in the house Khushi couldn’t control the emotional flood gate that had been threatening to burst out all day long. She let it all out as she cried in anguish for the lost dream. For all her brave talks with Arnav she was devastated to part from him. But she had to let him go. Guilt or obligation was not a good basis for a long lasting relationship. There had to be love and trust.It was just not meant to be.